Out of the night comes light.
Yesterday, while being in the company of A, I made a decision about how I am perceived. I have, as all of us do, sides to me that compliment and sides to me that conflict. It is up to me alone to let certain sides of myself shine brighter than the others. This is reflected by the company I keep and the surroundings in which I choose to place myself. So I made a decision to start afresh. The social media empire lured me into its attractive and new world six years ago. Learning as I went along through those years since is fully accessible to all I meet now. I realise I cannot change my past, and since it made me arrive at my present I wouldn’t dream of it, but I can change my present. The way in which I’m perceived now is something I have full control over. So I created a new social media page, selecting my few photos, words and friends carefully. One friend asked why I hadn’t simply removed photos, comments and friends from my old page, which might seem like the obvious choice, but since my actions in creating the new page were not to ‘get rid’ of items and anecdotes from my past (and certainly not photos, as cringeworthy as they may be) I didn’t want to tamper with that. My past created my present but I don’t need it to be in my present. So I chose to create a new page. My old one will remain open, so that the people from my past can remain a part of my present but only a part of it for now. I have chosen the people on my new page with care and for different reasons as to why I want them to see the ‘present’ me as it seems.
While sending brief explanations to my friends as to why I appeared to have a sudden twin asking to add them again on the media site I received a message from an old friend that I had recently bumped into after five years of not seeing each other. We hadn’t avoided each other, our paths just simply stopped crossing for a few years but on this particular night they did. After giving him my reasons for the new page he sent me a message which stated ‘I hadn’t seen you in years and you are still the same grounded down to earth girl I remember from then, I really enjoyed seeing you…really enjoyed listening to your plans for the USA, you’re so passionate it was invigorating’ I wasn’t expecting any response other than ‘yes your past was a little crazier than your present so I get why you’ve done this’ but this friend of mine didn’t care about the little silly things I had on my page, the silly photos or bad holiday snaps from when I still carried my uni weight, he just remembered the girl from back then as she was to him. Receiving this message was like someone handing me a slice of cake, my favourite book, a cup of tea, a blanket and telling me they will always love me then kissing me on my forehead. That feeling of warmth was the sweetest and kindest and most unexpected. I adored him more for his words to me. He was a good friend then and still is after years apart. Not judging, simply just accepting and loving.
He obviously made the cut onto my new page, how could anyone not choose a friend from their past like that to share their present with.